Though the lake of lost chances flows without end
The respite of the instant to eternity blends
So come drown your sorrows in the Thames or in a Pimms drunk with your friends
Or snort it up your nose or dance it away in a song like this
Put on some makeup or a hat and a pout
And some boots and wave your arms and legs about
All the Prozac in Mayfair won't sort us out
So take the Bacchus prescription and shout

Hey! Ho!

The streets scream for mercy, the clouds are a mess
The gods of the evening are seeking redress
From tender couple Em and Joe, always the first to guess
The hieroglyphs of each other's heads
Now Joe's on the couch making passes at his shrink
Em is on the dancefloor, too wired to think
Befriended by a chav with a GHB smile and a hat who's saying to her
Drink drink drink drink

Hey! Ho!

Em the illegible says she's figured life out
The hollowness of existence is what it's about
She explains to you each of the horrors of the world
Till you say, listen babe, I'm all hollowed out
You make your solitary way home as the ennui rains
Existentially lamenting the loss of a lay
Till a fat drunken Australian girl lurches your way
Saying, it's your birthday man, hip hip hooray

Hey! Ho!

Though you make it to the station, in a pit there you fall
Doomed to write your own epitaph on the train station wall
While the girl inevitably at the centre of it all
Lobs you her Sisyphus rock and says push
With the departing train your every fault is uncovered
While leaving the platform, you're shocked to discover
Your gaggle of exes, all saying to one another
Karma works so sweetly, take a look